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Lessons from the Garden Can Make You A Better Parent

By livingabovethenoise

Lessons from the garden can make you a better parent

Do Kids and Gardens Have Anything In Common?

Raising kids is quite a bit like raising a garden. You care for them. You tend and watch. You train. And you wait. But how will they turn out? What kind of fruit will they bear? Let’s see what we can learn from the garden to become a better parent!

At the first sign of spring, I plant my vegetable seeds. I tend the seedlings and wait for them to sprout. But this year, after a month of watching them grow almost big enough to plant outdoors, some got tall and lanky while others shriveled up and died! After all that work!

My frustration got me thinking about all the time and effort of raising anything. It’s so easy to think things will be easy. And parenting isn’t any different!

We all make mistakes when we’re learning new things. I won’t even go into all the ways I’ve messed up! But you know what it’s like to hold that baby for the first time — everything is just. so. new. Fortunately, God gives us a whole world from which we can observe and learn! I’ve raised both children and vegetables for decades and believe it or not, they actually have a lot in common. Let’s see what we can learn!

I’m guessing you have kids — but even if you don’t have a garden — stick with me. Let’s see how the choices you make in your job as “mom” resemble the gardener and her crops. You can learn lessons from the garden to become a better parent. (When you finish this post, click here to join our community and get my God Values Your Family worksheets.)

Choices — and Consequences.

Choice 1: Use A Gardening Method Without Knowing Your Plant’s Needs

From the trouble I had raising my seedlings, I realized I must be doing something wrong. You see, I followed standard seed care: plant the seeds, put them under a grow light, painstakingly water them, and even offer a warming mat for their soil. So what happened?

Without the right lighting, nutrients, and moisture for each type of seedling, they become weak and pale. Their stems wither into thread-like strands, strangling those important first leaves. Some don’t even sprout. This can make gardening downright frustrating! But, with any new venture, this gardener has the opportunity to learn the dos and don’ts of plant care.


Our mistakes help us learn what not to do
the next time we try.


Let’s Relate This to Parenting — Your Method Affects Your Child

Parenting comes with some confusion about raising your kids, not much different from raising those seedlings. You don’t start out knowing that different children actually need different care. And so, we often follow the latest trend in parenting or our parents’ example, but we miss this important fact — children are created differently. Someone else’s method may not work for your child or your lifestyle.

Let me add this before we go on — it’s hugely important to remember that God loves you and, believe it or not, He loves your kids even more than you do. He gives enough grace and love to cover your mistakes. I’m sure you want to do the best you can while you have the opportunity! With His counsel and grace, you have hope on this parenting journey.

So, like plants with different requirements for light, nutrients, and moisture, children benefit from individual attention. Each child needs unique and thoughtful care.

• One child may need “flower” care using a different type of fertilizer — more hugs maybe?
• Another might need “veggie” care with lots of sunlight and warmth — more time to run and learn outdoors.
• And yet another, “succulent” care planted in a unique soil — more time to learn from books and research.

The point is — you’ll need to discover which type of child you have. This is the important work of parenting. And it’s hard work. But hang in there! Learn as you go. It’s a process. But with your best effort to give your kids individual “care and feeding”, they’ll grow strong and bear fruit!

Choice 2: Expect Abundant Produce Without Much Knowledge or Hard Work

If you’ve ventured into gardening, you know this scenario. It happens to the best of us.

Those juicy, sweet tomatoes keep coming to mind (or some fruit or flower tempts you). You don’t have extra time for a garden — but the nursery department catches your eye. And the hope of a lush garden, like _______ has, draws you in! There’s even that spot along the driveway that just might work. So you dig a hole in the hard, rocky soil and shove those babies into their beds. You might even say a prayer. (You’re gonna need it! 😊 )

One super important lesson from gardening — especially when growing veggies — is that they need lots of sunlight along with just the right soil, good drainage, and special nutrients: nitrogen, phosphorus, and potash. Without these, they probably won’t grow many flowers or fruit. They may develop spindly, pale leaves. Sometimes they grow huge, green leaves — but no tomatoes. You’re left wondering why people love to garden! Been there, done that, and often still do!

Soil, Sunlight, & Fertilizer. How Environment Affects Our Kids

Like plants struggling to grow in hard-packed soil with no nutrition, our kids can battle the culture that surrounds them. I remember too well my struggle to fit in, to say “no,” and my internal battle with my own identity. It’s hard for kids to be free to make wise choices when their environment is harsh and unforgiving. When it doesn’t equip them for life and learning.

Kids can be like those tomatoes struggling to grow along that driveway. With so much energy spent fighting to gain a foothold, they have less energy to produce fruit. Children can be stifled from discovering their unique talent and aptitude. Don’t forget — kids, like plants, soak up everything they’re around — both the toxins and the beneficial nutrients. If the “soil” is damaging or the “nutrients” lacking, your child will be affected. Hang in there — there’s hope!

Kids benefit from an environment where they can flourish rather than battle. Make the extra effort to offer them a strong foundation, spiritual nourishment, and lots of physical and emotional preparation. This enables them to develop their own unique personality and to stand strong and capable as they become adults. It gives them a “leg up” so to speak!

As parents, our job isn’t to make life perfect for our kids, but we can offer a healthy environment for them to develop. Now let’s see how to do that!

Choice 3: Be Like A Professional Gardener — Give the Best Foundation, Support, and Nourishment

I saved the best for last! When I was newly married, I wanted the same delicious tomatoes my mom grew. I researched and asked questions. I bought a huge plastic kettle and filled it with rich black soil and two tomato plants. Before long, those plants were three feet tall and producing a ton of delicious, red, juicy tomatoes for our dinner table. Well worth the time and effort!

If you’ve ever tasted them, you know there’s nothing like home-grown tomatoes! (If you and your kids enjoy a good folk song and you like John Denver, click that link!) Okay, I digress. 😉

For the best plants and produce, the gardener must know and understand the needs of each type of plant for a successful garden. You’ll definitely know when you get it right — your vases will be full, your arms overflowing with produce, or your home green with houseplants! Oh how I love my gardens! And my kids!

Simply put, our children benefit from the best environment and care for their needs, just like those plants. So what’s that looks like in the life of a parent?

Lessons from the Garden for Raising Your Kids

Lessons from the garden for raising your kids.

A farmer tends his crops because he knows his life depends on it. He knows his choices determine how well his crops do and how well he’ll eat that year.

It’s just as important to see your parenting job the same way. Your children’s future begins with YOU — and that includes the choices you make to care for them.

God’s design for the family is amazing! It’s such an awesome honor and responsibility to instruct and raise our kids.
Have you ever thought about this? >> Your babies don’t ask to be born? Yet they depend on you for everything — to love, nurture, and raise them well. And that’s all part of God’s plan! Let’s aim to serve Him well and be the best parents we can be!


Family is the “garden” that grows future adults —
our next generation!


Let’s see how these gardening lessons will help you do your parenting job well. (Use my Parenting Worksheets and encouragement from my newsletters to help get your “soil” right!)

  • Soil – Like the patio tomatoes with a healthy pot of rich soil — a place where roots grow strong and healthy — children need a nutrition-rich environment to grow, learn, and broaden their ever-expanding minds.
  • Roots – The healthier the roots, the healthier the plant. Roots provide the stems and leaves with much-needed nutrients. The foundation and nutrients you give your kids are equally important. Be sure they get lots of opportunities to learn and experiment with their unique interests and skills. These grow them into the individual they were created to be!
  • Leaves – Those tomato leaves — growing large, soft, and green — soak up the sunlight. This creates chlorophyll to provide the plant with just what it needs to produce delicious, nutrient-rich fruit. Exactly what it was intended to produce! I know you might not believe it now but your kids will grow up! Like plants, your child matures and grows stronger in character and skill. Their knowledge expands, and they use their talent and personality to add “fruit” to the culture around them making the world a much better place!

Each child is a whole person —
an adult in the making.


Now it’s your turn to be the master gardener!

Take time to assess your parenting style. See if you need to adjust anything — soil, nutrients, sunlight — and then make a plan to grow a great family!

We have so many fears:

• Fear of failure
• Fear of going against the flow.
• Fear of being inadequate.
• Fear of what others may think.
• Fear that this idea won’t work.
• Fear of what our relatives will say.
• Even fear of success and how our lives will change.

>>> By the way, I’m writing an ebook on parenting well. It will include a variety of tools to help you discover your best plan for your family — raised God’s way! (Subscribe to my newsletter to get notified — and you can get “7 Days to Discovering God’s Value for You” devotional here.)

Good things happen when you have a plan to parent better!

The Parenting Plan

Your child’s mind, like the plants we’ve been talking about, soaks up everything they come in contact with. Are any of these “soil” types somewhere you’d like to “plant” your kids? Be sure to add your own!

  • Surrounded by love and the knowledge of God?
  • Filled with imagination and freedom to play and learn?
  • Lots of opportunities to experience new things and learn from the skills and knowledge of others’?
  • Engaging relationships with others where they learn to accept differences and love unconditionally?

Now for the Big Question — How Will You Tend Your Garden?

You and your husband are the best people in the world to decide how life looks in your home — and the best qualified to raise your children. Take time to think about how your kids are doing, where you’re headed, and how you might get there.

I’m not here to tell you how to parent but to offer a perspective from my four decades of parenting. Like me, you’re hoping to get things right on your parenting journey. We all try methods or ideas because another family seems so “perfect” and we want that for our family. Or someone recommends some new “thing”. I know, I’ve grabbed at plenty of those choices along the way.

But remember — God is good and has His perfect plan for showing you His way. He gives us others as examples, but we too often rely on them instead of God. The best part is that He uses our mess-ups. Things you try and fail at can feel like mistakes — but they are truly lessons. They’re growing you along the way. We need to remember that children are resilient and have a loving Father, too!

If you’re worried you’re kids will turn out like my sickly plant examples, have HOPE. Your kids will survive your mistakes!** But with anything you do, give it your best for a better outcome!

**Other than the worst-case scenarios, of course — and please, if you struggle with a serious issue that could affect the safety of your children, reach out to someone for help.

You might be wondering how my kids turned out now that they’re adults. I’m amazed at what God has done with our big family! Each one of our kids is different from another, but they’re strong and capable, think independently, have curious minds, and are raising great families. Best of all, they all love and trust God. I love my kids! But to be “duly noted” — they aren’t perfect! 😉

But the goal isn’t perfection anyway, is it? It’s progress — being the best parents we can, using our life and faith and experience to help the next generation continue on that journey.


The key: Trust your
loving Father and cultivate your family — like a
master gardener!


So how about you? How are you doing in the parenting department? Have these lessons from the garden inspired you? Are you inspired to become a better parent? I’d love to help you get a plan for your parenting!

(In case you missed it, get your free God Values Your Family worksheets to help you gain perspective and get your foundation in place. By signing up, you’ll get notified in my newsletters when my parenting ebook comes out! >>> It will include inspiration, tips, and even more tools to help you!)

  • If you have a family — are you happy with the way things are going? Do you need to make adjustments to the soil, sunlight, or water? Do you need to learn more about parenting? Ask, read, pray, and reconsider your current plan. Then make the changes needed. God will bless every effort you make to raise the future generation for Him. Now begin cultivating!
  • If you’re not married yet — picture your future family and what you want for your children. What are your goals, hopes, and ideas for raising them? Write these goals down. Put thought into how you’ll get there. Take time to develop the “garden” you’ll raise your future children in. It will be worth your effort.

God’s word is filled with exhortations to parent well,
be responsible for your family,
and always to love well!

I want to encourage you to begin “living above the noise”.
Don’t be afraid to be different — to discover a style all your own.
Don’t worry about measuring up to what everyone else is doing (in your community, especially on social media, or even in your church.)
This is your life — you only get one! Use it well and for God’s glory!

Train up a child in the way he should go;
Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

“But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Job 12:7-10

Finding Love in a Storm

By livingabovethenoise

As I sit here, watching the storm blow in, I can’t help but remember my childhood at the lake.  Sitting on the huge, padded porch swing tucked under the upper level of my grandparents’ cottage, my cousins and I would swing and talk and plan our next excursion for our summer vacation.   We’d gather there in storms just like the one today, feeling oh, so safe amidst the pounding rain and the thundering bellow of the clouds.  And I realize something.

There is nothing so wonderful and calming and peaceful as feeling safe.  Of knowing we are loved.

Those days at the cottage were some of my siblings’ favorite memories of childhood.  “Why?” I wonder.  I imagine it’s because we gathered as families, loved by parents who cared about giving us little gifts like this — our yearly family vacation.  Possibly it was because there, like the adults, we had no cares in the world.  They, like us, had left the hustle of work and chores to get away and breathe.

The Gift of a Storm

Then God gives the gift of a storm.  The quiet of the rain softly pattering on the roof.  The mist brushing our cheeks as we swing on the porch.  The slow rumble of the thunder echoing it’s way across the sky.  And we have peace  — peace amidst the storm.

As I pause and ponder, yes, for the first time in what feels like months, I realize how very important it is to give one another that sense of peace and love.  That feeling of being wrapped in a parent’s arms in the storm, knowing we are safe.  And loved.

Seek out your children or grandchildren today.  Let them know they are loved and safe with you.  Let them know you will be by their side.  No. Matter. What.

Of course, remember this doesn’t pertain only to children.  There are spouses who need that same affirmation.  And friends.  Even enemies.

If that makes you nervous, go to God, the source of all Love and Peace, and ask Him how to love like this.  He’s the expert!  His love never fails.

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Love never fails.  1 Corinthians 13:8





This Is Definitely What Christmas Is All About, Charlie Brown!

By livingabovethenoise

 

Linus’s age-old adage rings as true now as it did 50 years ago!  We remember with much nostalgia when he recites Luke 2, then concludes with the refrain, “That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown!”

Christmas is all about Jesus.  It’s about celebrating God’s greatest gift to us — Jesus — our salvation through nothing else but faith in God’s Son.  

Getting Sidetracked This Christmas?

It’s too easy to get sidetracked thinking it’s about decorations and gifts.  Now, we love a decorated house this time of year!  But it can get overwhelming.  And you know about those hundred gifts on your list.  “What?” you say.  “I don’t have a hundred gifts on my list!”  Umm, count again.  Include teachers, bosses, neighbors, friends, greeting cards with pictures, stocking stuffers, cookies for the neighbors….yep, you’re getting close to a hundred!  See what I mean about sidetracked?

Now don’t think I don’t understand.  I’m right here with you….like forgetting about our Jesse tree and instead, getting started on my shopping trips.  Reading the real Christmas story only because my daughters had a party for my ‘grandboys’!  ‘Tis true…but get this — when I read to those wondering eyes, when I saw the intent on their faces, I remembered again.  

This truly is the reason for the season.  It is our job, our duty, to make sure we’re not quiet about what we believe and in Whom we believe!

Won’t you join me in relishing in the tinsel and holly and glitter, but not forgetting that simple, cold manger so many years ago?  The sheer beauty of God’s gift of everlasting life, brought to us in the tiny frame of a babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes.

Keep Christ’s Love In Christmas

A bit of encouragement and some ideas to renew your sense of purpose this season:

– Our friend owns a thrift store in town, but it’s not just any thrift shop!  This one uses the store’s proceeds to feed the hungry in our community.  Check out your local ministries to discover how you can help the needy this year.  People are cold, hungry, lonely, sick.  What can we do to be Jesus’s hands of mercy to them?

– Tiny Tim is a name most people know.  Learn how to share God’s love from his simple pronouncement to those around him.

–  Here’s a great way to bless those in need this year!  It’s so easy to pass by those in need along the road.  What if we were prepared for those meetings by having a care bag of goodies to hand the homeless?   We will never have an excuse to look the other way.  (We have a homeless woman on the edge of town.  We pass her most days and wonder how she does it with the cold weather approaching.  Reading this post again has me excited to bring her a care package this week!)

– Some people ask the question, Should Christians Celebrate Christmas?  It’s easy to see that it’s gotten out of hand with Santa, “Happy Holidays,” and compulsory gift-giving.  Some proclaim Christmas is for pagans and just a copycat of idol worship.  My post declares why it’s a good thing to celebrate.  Choose for yourselves….but as for me and my house, we will celebrate the Lord!

– Visit a Fire or Police Station and bring goodies for these first responders!  With a son-in-law who has this difficult job, we see first-hand how much we take our safety for granted.  Give the gift of appreciation this year!

There are so many ways we can remember what Christmas is all about.  Let’s share our ideas — with friends and family — and here. Leave a comment with ways your family celebrates or shares God’s love this time of year!

Happy Holy Day & Merry Christ-mas one and all!

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So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.  When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.     Luke 2:16-20





Living Above the Noise – New Look, New Focus

By livingabovethenoise

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I took a break from blogging this past six months.  I needed to regroup and discover my focus.  When I started blogging four years ago, I was still full swing into parenting and just getting my feet wet with grandparenting.  This got me thinking.  My old blog name and focus, A Mom’s Many Lessons, was feeling a bit boxed in.  My life wasn’t just about the lessons learned from being a mom, but from all the avenues my life has taken.

I quickly discovered that planning a new blog layout is not for the faint of heart!  I’ve put a lot of thought into my purpose for blogging and even into the details for my header design.  I wanted my new design to reflect where God has me in life.  I still have plenty of “lessons” to share about, but my heart is soaring like this bird in the header.  I feel like weight has lifted off my heart and God has allowed me to see what life looks like without the noise and chatter of so many things around me.

So here I am, starting a new blog, with a new focus.

My new name was in the tagline of my old blog – “A Mom’s Many Lessons…in living above the noise and for the glory of God.”  My focus for life is to seek to live above all the noise around us, that which vies for our attention and distracts us from our main goal, the one goal of glorifying God in and through all of life.  This made it easy to choose my new name!

What’s this noise I speak of?  Oh, there are too many to put into words, but here are a few:  

  • Expectations – of myself and others, often unrealistic. 
  • Perfectionism – seeking the “best” and what I think will make God and others happy.
  • Roles – being a “good” wife, a “good” mom, a “better” friend, etc., but by whose standards?
  • Church – trying to be and do what other Christians expect; pressure that comes from not believing in all that goes on in modern churches…
  • The World – balancing between being in the world but not of it.

My goal in life is be like David and Solomon, to have a heart of understanding and discernment, and to use my life to serve and follow God.  I blog to encourage you to do the same.  To live above the chatter beckoning us to veer from our main focus, to sidetrack us from following God’s best for us and our family.  So please join me as I share ideas and lessons in my quest to stay focused.

If you  follow me via email, my new blog will transfer over to your email.  If you haven’t subscribed, please do, so you won’t miss a post!  You can also follow me on Facebook and Pinterest.

Blessings as we share in this journey called life!

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Solomon’s Prayer – “You have shown great lovingkindness to Your servant David, my father, according as he walked before You in truth and righteousness and uprightness of heart toward You…so give Your servant an understanding heart…to discern between good and evil.”  1 Kings 3:6-9





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Featured Posts:

Lessons from the Garden Can Make You A Better Parent

Like plants, strong, capable kids don’t just “happen” without a healthy pot of rich soil. Where roots grow long and healthy. Parents need to give kids a safe place to grow and learn and broaden their ever-expanding minds.

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My Struggle to Find Focus — Biblical Truth for a Blogger

I’ll be honest with you — I’ve been struggling with my blog focus lately.  I’ve wondered if my content is relevant to your needs.  Am I only adding to all the noise on this crazy internet!  Should I write more? Less. Should I quit?! Times Change –  A lot has changed since I began blogging […]

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Finding Love in a Storm

As I sit here, watching the storm blow in, I can’t help but remember my childhood at the lake.  Sitting on the huge, padded porch swing tucked under the upper level of my grandparents’ cottage, my cousins and I would swing and talk and plan our next excursion for our summer vacation.   We’d gather there […]

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Fear Of Planning — It’s A Real Thing!

Guess what?!  There really is such a thing as the fear of planning!  You know that feeling — you want to fill out the next week in your planner but you’re gripped with panic from not knowing what to put on your to-do list.  You feel the apprehension of putting something on a wrong day and risking […]

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