We Broke the Mold and Raised Responsible Adults!

Our family’s style of raising responsible adults may be unique to many of you.  We have homeschooled all ten of our kids. I’ve been at it for 29 years. (I know, I’m crazy!) But for our family, it’s been the best. thing. ever! And beyond home educating our crew, we believe that a college education is not the only avenue to success for an adult.  Now don’t faint!  Please read on.  We have proof!

Only one of our children has attended college, and yet, they are each educated and qualified in the particular field they’re working in. To top it off — they make good incomes.  Of course, if their area of interest required a college education (law, medicine, etc.) then we would definitely support that need. But there is a multitude of careers where experience and education can be gained through an internship, a learning process similar to apprenticeship of days gone by.

Our approach for growing children into adults has developed over the years.  We didn’t intentionally work out this plan.  But life and time have proven that it works!   And it sure helps that our current culture of entrepreneurs finally supports our belief. (I have more posts on raising children here: How “Not” To Homeschool and  Constructing Successful Adults.

Endless Possibilities

Simply put, we provide lots of opportunities for our children to experience, learn, practice, and problem solve in numerous areas of interest.  Some of those interests are ours personally, some are their siblings, and some come from their own curiosity and bent.

(“bent” — n. – direction taken, as by one’s interests; inclination. (Random House Unabridged Dictionary of American English)

When adding them all up, we’ve had (and still do have!) one very busy life filled with lots of activities and projects for them to experience.  With all this experience and opportunity, they can then choose what it is they really like to do, and what it is they don’t ever want to do again!  They can move on to gaining more knowledge and experience by studying, working with others, or starting their own business.

An example of this was when we got out of debt by selling our “dream” home to buy a two-bedroom, fixer-upper, complete with a certified organic orchard.  Now I do believe God has a sense of humor. 😉  He proved it when we found out I was expecting our ninth child in the midst of this all!  (Do note the number of bedrooms.)

We pretty much gutted that old house, and over a year’s time, rebuilt and doubled its size.  And that first summer we began selling at a local farmer’s market and canned 400 quarts of fruit. Yah, we were one busy family!

Here’s what we learned:  backhoe operation, concrete and foundation work, framing, plumbing, carpentry, stucco, roofing, carpet and tile laying, irrigation, farming, scheduling and management, marketing, sales…the list goes on!  One comment I remember vividly when our project was nearing completion, my 13 year old son exclaimed, “I know what I don’t want to do when I grow up — stucco!” 🤔

Face Your Fears!

Not every family will have the resources or time to provide the same opportunities as we had, but there are numerous ways to provide experiences in any number of categories.  Allow yourself and your family to get creative and be open to the possibilities!  Listen for God’s direction and don’t be afraid to try something new.

Fear stifles creativity.

We have so many fears:

• Fear of failure
• Fear of going against the flow.
• Fear of being inadequate.
• Fear of what others may think.
• Fear that this idea won’t work.
• Fear of what our relatives will say.
• Even fear of success and how our lives will change.

Here’s a real-life illustration of how fear inhibits us and our opportunities.  Several years ago we made a move that was “out of step” with God.  We moved forward when we knew it wasn’t the right timing.  Rather than relying on God, we turned inward.  We analyzed and hesitated and tried to avoid more mistakes.  This “mistake” made us afraid to try new things.

In the many years of insecurity that followed, we’ve seen a distinct difference in what our younger children have been able to learn and experience.  It took years to recover and build confidence in the process of trusting and trying and forging ahead — for each of us.  But with God’s patience and kindness, we’re getting there and fortunately, children are resilient.  I think more so than their parents!

If there’s one thing to remember, it’s this — Fear takes the fun out of life and removes the chance to experience new challenges.  Add to that, we miss the opportunity to learn from those mistakes!

How great is our God who asks us to step out in faith, both for our good and for that of our children!

 But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired.  If they were all one member, where would the body be?  But now there are many members, but one body.                       1 Corinthians 12: 18-20

Real-Life Examples From Our Home Educating Family

Our sons and daughters have always worked alongside us as we managed our home and raised our family. This allows them to excel at skills and gain experience in numerous ways.  So much of who they are and what they do best has been learned in our home.  Children learn the foundational ideas of responsibility, character, perseverance, relationships, duty — all of which add up to maturity.

So – are we capable of raising responsible adult children?

After 40 years — and asking myself that question whenever I felt weak or inadequate — Yes! With thought and prayer and trust in God to work out the details, I belive you can.

And I can offer you hope with some real-life examples from our family:

Shayna, 39, gained much experience being my right-hand gal as I ran our home, but also from tagging along while I assisted our local midwives.  This experience helped her decide to invest the time and energy to apprentice and train to become a licensed midwife (Simply Classic Midwifery Care). She’s now a mom to five unique and fun-loving kids and owns and manages two local shops (Timberwolf Sawmill & Ozark Collaborative) with her husband, Spencer.

Jessie, 37, has a “math brain” (unlike myself!) and always enjoyed working with numbers and finding great deals for our family.  She used her accounting and management skills to help her husband, Connor, maintain a frugal lifestyle, which enabled him to grow and learn in his field of work.  Now they work together running a successful local roofing business, MidCon Exteriors.

Our oldest son, Cameron, 35, has always loved working on computers, so that became his “thing” in our family.  He was our computer tech, researching the best equipment, finding solutions to our problems, and purchasing computers and accessories to make our home life easier.  He has worked for Institute for Excellence in Writing for 12 years as Manager of Information Systems, constantly using and gaining more knowledge and experience.  He is married to a wonderful wife, Erin, and they have two children.

Our second son, Spencer, 33, was our always-busy, constantly-moving (and getting hurt!) child.  He loved to create and build, so we provided various tools and materials for him to work with.  We remodeled our homes, allowing him to learn and practice many new skills along the way.  He watched contractors work in their field of expertise to discover how and why they did what they did.  (He’s the one who didn’t ever want to do stucco!)  He is now a qualified and experienced independent contractor and owns Covey Construction in the Houston area, plus he owns and manages a wedding venue, Magnolia Meadows Wedding Venue with his wife, Katie, and their four children.

Lydia, 30, is a professional harpist having dreamed of playing since she was a young girl.  She built a successful business, with many fun memories shared while traveling 2 hours for lessons and us chaperoning her first gigs!  She paid off her $19,000 harp plus paid cash for both her Toyota Highlander and her education at Eric Ludy’s Bible school, Ellerslie.  (No, she didn’t get a college degree at Ellerslie, but she gained a deep, abiding knowledge of God, and that’s enough to bring success for a lifetime!) She worked part-time at a local florist, where she learned that she loves floral design! She then interned with an amazing floral designer in Colorado where she learned amazing floral arranging and business skills.  Lydia now owns Frances Floral Design and recently got married to Peter.

Sophie, 26, loves photography.  She spent several years discouraged because she didn’t have a specific interest or “bent”.  She saw her siblings succeeding at what they loved, yet felt God had left her out.  But in His timing, He saw fit to reveal her artistic side.  After taking local classes in photography, she’s started a blog, Smile for Sophie, and a photography business using her talents.  She now uses her skills creating images for Institute for Excellence In Writing’s social media account.  She’s married to Josh and they just had their second child.

So you can see that offering your children plenty of time to ‘practice’ working on their interests allows them time to find their niche before they invest time, money, and training for something they may not enjoy or be skilled at.

So Relax!  There are many avenues to success as an adult.

Remember — God’s in charge.  You provide the opportunities.  He’ll take care of the rest!

You can read my related posts How ‘Not’ To Homeschool and  Constructing Successful Adults.

 But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired.  If they were all one member, where would the body be?  But now there are many members, but one body.                  1 Corinthians 12: 18-20