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Gain Clarity For A Better Tomorrow

Let’s talk about choices…

…sometimes easy, oftentimes confusing, and occasionally outside the box!

You can gain clarity when it comes to the decisions you have to make in life.

Every day we make choices.  

Whether you’re making breakfast or deciding what to wear in the morning, your brain is making upward of 35,000 decisions each day – that’s roughly 2,000 decisions per hour — that’s one decision every two seconds!

Should I take this call?

Turn left or wait at for the light to change?

Let the kids argue a minute longer so I can finish the dishes?

Take a job to help with the finances.

See the doctor for this small lump.

You get the point!

Endless Possibilities

We make a LOT of choices.  Some are big and some are small – but they each use our brain cells none-the-less!

The life of a woman didn’t used to be so complex.  

Life – and living it – took so much time there wasn’t much left for the extras we half today.

You know -> All the things.

All the possibilities open to us today.  

Now, I’m a huge proponent of opportunity and possibility – but there is such a thing as having too much to choose from!

Think Hobby Lobby, Instagram Reels, and google to name a few!

The world of a woman – and a mom can be a pretty overwhelming place! 

The best way we can make peace with all our options – is to have a clear picture of our goals and a solid sense of God’s love and care for us as we seek His will in and among all the noise. 

I pray this episode will:

• Cause you to think about the possibilities in your life – some you might need to say no to…and maybe some exciting ones.
• Perhaps, give you permission to make a choice you’ve been putting off.
• Help you realize your responsibility for the outcome.  
• And if you’re fresh off of one of those “I wish I had chosen differently” decisions – to remind you of God’s grace – and how to take a bit more thought and prayer next time! 

Choices & Repercussions

We all make our choices differently at different times. Sometimes just because God or our intuition or gut tells us it’s the right thing to do. 

And other times it’s with deep thought, and great care as to what it will look like for our family, our marriage, our home life, and for our community. 

But even when the results aren’t what you expect, God is always at work.

 He’s always challenging you to grow and offering both opportunities and trials along the way. 

Choices have Repercussions — [an unintended consequence occurring some time after an event or action, especially an unwelcome one – byproduct, ripple.] 
or Consequences [a result or effect of an action or condition.- ramification, outcome,, conclusion] of those choices. 

I’m sure you’ve heard – making one choice doesn’t come without having to say no to something else. 

Your “yes” often means way more than you expected!

A “yes” to marriage — or to having children — or to your kid’s education – whether you live on a farm or move to the city — all these mean much more than just that first choice.

Every choice is going to have rewards or consequences and repercussions – like ripples that fan out to your future and your kids and their kids.

I have the privilege of watching my kids raise their kids.  It amazes me how many things they do because they saw it as beneficial and good when they were young.  And I can see what they change because of what they didn’t prefer or for other reasons. 

Choices Are Important To God

I wrote about the basics of Titus 2:3-5 (marriage, children, and homemaking) but there’s one part we need to discuss –  it’s more of a heart issue.   And it has an impact on your choices in life.

As the older woman, I “encourage the young women (that’s you!) to love your husbands, to love your children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home…and also to be kind.”

We don’t want to overlook the next part which says “being subject to your own husband, so the word of God will not be dishonored.”  

We’ll save that discussion for another post – but the heart of that command – is to listen to and heed his thoughts and ideas, which relate directly to the choices you make as a couple.

So, the “sensible, pure, and kind” exhortation seems pretty easy to understand – but let’s solidify that by looking at what the Oxford dictionary says.

Sensible – (of a course of action) chosen in accordance with wisdom or prudence; likely to be of benefit.  — (of an object) practical and functional rather than decorative. We saw that in 1 Timothy 2:9 in the last episode.

Pure – not mixed or adulterated with any other substance or material. – without any extraneous and unnecessary elements. – free of any contamination.   As Christians we know these are the things of the world or our flesh – God tells us over and over in the Bible how we’re to not mix with ungodliness.

Kind – having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature. – affectionate or loving.

Wow!  Do any words pop for you?

They help us clearly see why our choices are so very important to God. 

Two Important Factors When Making Choices

So… as a Christian, we have two important factors to keep top of mind when we’re making our choices.

You Can Trust God

One is that we ultimately can trust God.   Be wholeheartedly surrendered.

If we don’t have that basic foundation behind us – we’re going to base our decisions on things that might go against the character of God.  And we may worry and fret that our choice might be wrong. 

I could share countless ways in my early Christian years of how I overthought and didn’t trust God.  

It’s kind of funny (well, funny not funny!) because my husband and I have always been bad at making choices together – we kind of have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). 

But think about what FOMO really is!  – Ultimately it’s a lack of trust in God!  

I realized the reality of the ideas of missing out. What am I missing on?  God’s plan?  Or just what others had or did?

Once I realized it, I could begin to set boundaries for myself as to how much I let my mind wander and worry.

If you tend toward FOMO — and I think social media has made it way too easy to do — can you see how trust in your Father can heal you of it?  I mean, if God has something for you, eventually it will be yours!

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Matthew 6:34

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” 

We’re not to fret and worry about our decisions – we can trust God with our future.

Know What You Believe

Now the second aspect of choices and how to make better ones is knowing what you believe — what you believe in — what you believe about God. 

And like I shared in this post, knowing your value to God — how He values you — how He created you — and that He has work for you to do, adds up to you being so much more free to make the choices you believe in!  

You’ll be much less tempted to just pick what you just saw online.   

And don’t think that online is the only temptation.  I lived way before computers, cell phones, and social media!

Decades ago, my friends and I were trying to be and do and have what everyone else was doing or had!  

Temptation isn’t a modern invention – only the tools to lure us are!

This desire to look outside ourselves for what promises happiness is ages old – remember Eve?

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. 1 John 2:16

We have a better promise!

Psalm 37:4 says to “Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.”

He says He’ll give you the desires of your heart, but when your desires aren’t in line with His word — when you know in your gut it’s your flesh or feelings (ask me how I know!) well…they’ll result in some fruit you might not expect. And it might be unripe fruit or sometimes rotten. 

But the Truth in this verse is pretty simple really!  

Delight in God’s goodness – and when you do that – the desires of your heart will line up with His desires – which helps keep your choices in line, too!  

Your Choices set you apart as a kingdom woman. 

When you know your value in the Kingdom, when you get right with God – surrendering to His plan, it will be easier to set your pace and your foundation firmly where He has you.  

No, it’s not easy – remember, we never really arrive – not until heaven.  

You and I are a constant work in progress! 

But the best part – the next time you hear of something new, something that catches your attention and makes you sit up and take notice – and it fits in with the pace you’ve set – and your firm foundation – then you’ll be so much more confident to try it. 

And you’ll know…with your trust in God, if after giving it a whirl, it isn’t going like planned, you don’t have to feel bad.  

When you discover it wasn’t really yours to do or have – you’ll be okay!

You can let it go … because you know you serve a God who loves and cares for you, your family, and your future!

Choices and Letting Go

I’ll share one of my many stories about choices and letting them go.  Or not.

20 years ago, we made a huge and impulsive decision to leave our community of 18 years, leave my parents and take their ten grandkids away to Tennessee — a 24 hr. drive away.  

We made one of those hard choices to give our kids the chance to settle as adults in a state with much lower housing costs — hopefully giving them a leg up in the world.  

But…one thing we didn’t count on was how we as a couple would handle giving up our life, our extended family, and our community of almost 2 decades!

To put it bluntly – we call it a crash-and-burn move.  We didn’t fare well.  

I was still in the mode of trying to live life on my own strength.  Of not trusting God with our future and even with the decisions we’d made.  

So I fretted and worried and filled my home with the stress that comes from indecision.  It wasn’t pretty.  

But God was at work.  He always is!

And one bit of advice that stands out from that difficult time was a simple statement my sister told me during a phone call.

“Nothing is permanent.”

She was reminding me that we can undo a decision.  I could actually stop doing this thing that’s upsetting our life.  

Did I listen to her wisdom?  No.  

Believe it or not – we reeled from that move for a decade.  FOMO can really suck the life out of you!

We felt unstable in all our ways.  And why? Because we hadn’t yet learned those two principles.

First – We didn’t ultimately trust God.  We hadn’t learned to rely on Him and His mercy and grace.  We hadn’t surrendered.  No….that would take several more years!

Second – We didn’t know what we believed about our move – sure we wanted to give our kids a better shot at adulthood – but it wasn’t enough to combat our own fear and insecurities.  

But my sister’s words have come back to me often.  

We really can alter course and let things go.  

Now, of course, we know some things are permanent — or at least should be.

Like marriage and having children.  God intends we stay the course of those relationships.

Even though they might not be turning out the way you hoped or imagined — possibly he’s frustrating you more than you expected — or your kids take way more of your energy than you ever thought possible. 

Maybe you thought you were going to love it a whole lot more than you do!

Why Do We Complain & Fret

But here’s something to chew on.

Perhaps you forgot to turn it over to God – to bank on the fact that He has work for you to do in these roles – these permanent ones – the ones you can’t get out of – or shouldn’t.

Even as I’m speaking this – I’m seeing a glitch in my thinking – in my attitudes and actions – and I think we all struggle with this.  

but … if we know in our hearts, that these are permanent roles — why, oh why do we complain and fret?  

Why can’t we just do our job and seek God’s best in and through it all?

I guess that’s an age-old question.  

But one we really should consider – and strive for, don’t you think?

Again, it helps to see how having confidence in knowing your value, knowing why God put you on earth – really trusting Him – and knowing what He requires of you and how much He cares for you, 

helps you stand against your temptation to covet, worry, or complain.  

And that brings us back to choices.  

Accepting them.

Being able to stay the course when you followed godly wisdom and direction in choosing them

– and… being willing to something them go when it’s not going well – and perhaps wasn’t in line with what’s best in the first place.  

Queen Esther’s Choice

Esther’s story is a beautiful example of someone who chose well.

Her situation was what most of us would consider unbearable  – she lost her parents and was raised by her cousin (she was Mordecai’s uncle’s daughter). Later she was taken into the king’s harem for a year-long ritual of beautification in preparation to be presented to the King — to become his queen!  

I can’t even imagine!

But get this – Esther did her best with it.  She trusted Mordecai and she trusted God.  She honored the King and saved her people.

So remember that Esther is a woman just like you and me. 

But can we admit that our husband or kids (in most situations, of course) are a lot less devastating then being stolen from our home and given to a king as his bride? 

Considering Esther’s amazing example of faith — 

• Do you have areas in your life where you need to accept how God is doing His perfect work?

• Can you see the potential of the work He’s given you like Esther did –  “for such a time as this?”

Time to Think:

Take a few minutes to ask these questions about the choices you’ve made recently or ones that stand out from different seasons in your life.

• Do your choices reflect your trust in God?
• Are the choices glorifying God? 
• Do they reflect what you believe?  Or might you be doing them for another reason?
• Are they pleasing you or pleasing others? 
• Are they advancing the kingdom? 
• Are you making a difference in your community? 

Encouragement From A Friend

During my dark and confusing season in TN, my friend, Tamy, mailed me a quote printed in her favorite font and laminated.  I guess she knew I’d still need it 20 years later! 

It said – 

“Do not doubt in darkness what God revealed to you in the light. “ Joni Erickson Tada  

In our feeble human existence, God reveals Truth to us.  Often it’s during a Bible study or Sunday sermon or while we’re taking a walk.   Often it’s when we’re in the light.

But, as humans, it’s easy to enter into a season of despair or darkness or trial — and we forget the revelation, the promise, or grace offered us.  

This simple quote reminds me that darkness will come.  And to hold onto the Truth right in the middle of it!  

My friend, God keeps His promise, even when you don’t see it.  

I see that quote every day on my bathroom mirror.  It’s such an inspiration not only from a friend, but from Joni, who has lived with what most of us would consider an unimaginable trauma and hardship in life.  

Her social media posts are a constant encouragement to me.  You can find her at Joni & Friends!

A Good Choice!

Here’s a really good example of not doubting a choice.

A few weeks ago, as I was planning to write one of my podcasts, I was in my daughter‘s living room waiting for her 20-month-old twins and three year old to wake up.  This was the day I needed to get my podcast written, recorded, and ready to post in the coming week.  

You see, my husband and daughter were away for the entire day and evening, so this was my day to do it.  I had the whole day alone!

But instead, I was writing in my daughter’s living room.  And why was I here instead of being home in my quiet house with my dogs and cats by my side?

Because the night before — all night — my son-in-law was at the hospital with my 6 yo grandson waiting for test results.  I was on call for my daughter to join them when she was needed most.

So in the wee hours of the morning, and with only a few hours of sleep, we switched cars and I joined the kids — while she raced to the hospital to be there when her son woke up from emergency surgery.    All I can say is Praise God. – because a few generations ago, he wouldn’t have made it!  

So why do I tell you this?  And what does it have to do with choices?

A lot.  

You see, almost 4 decades ago,  I gave up plans for a career and made the choice to be a stay-at-home-mom and focus on my kids. 

I knew what I believed even though I didn’t know the God who put the desire in my heart back then.

That would be a few years off….but here I am. And I can see again in retrospect the blessings of that decision. 

I have 23 grandkids — future adults who I get to invest in and show the love of Christ.  And I wouldn’t change a thing!

 I would use this opportunity on that early morning – to pour into those little girls with all I could muster.

On that cool fall morning, God wanted me to give up my plans and realize there are other things in life much more important than getting a podcast out on time.

And being there for them during this emergency was most important!

Do you remember the quote from Tony Evans in this post?  

Where he reminds us this – “in your personal life as a kingdom woman, it is essential to note that in the good things of life, you should try not to lose the important things.“

And something else I’ll admit — 10 or 20 years ago, I would have grumbled and complained about that change of plans.   

I have learned (or should I say, I am learning – daily) that I have choices for my attitude.

And you do too!

God Grows Us In His Timing

God has worked an amazing character in me.   And He’s working on you!

You can learn to stop your fretting, confusion, or anger –  to look and listen for God’s wisdom – and rest assured He’s up to something good. 

Please hear this – Before you know it, Lord willing, you’ll be 40 or 50 or 60.  And you’ll be able to see where your choices have brought you.  

You’ll be able to see what God did with them.  Where you missed the boat.  And how things worked out – or didn’t? 

And you’ll discover how to better make decisions and what to focus on.

You’ll see why the ingredients for wise decision-making: 

• Trusting God
• Knowing what you believe

help you make better choices. 

And how they help you maintain a better attitude along the way.

Time To Think!

• So what is going on in your life that you need to reassess your mood or your negativity – your fears or your anger? 
• Do you need to deal with choices already made?
• What trials are you complaining about that you might be able to look at the other side, whether it be tomorrow, or in a year? Look to the side of growth – the side of character lessons in learning to deny yourself for the good of someone else or the good of a calling that’s more important than the moment.
• Take time to consider your ways – what you believe and what trust in your Heavenly Father look like day to day.  
• Run your choices, thoughts, and ideas through the filter of God’s word.
• Pray and listen to the Spirit.

Take time to think through this today. 

I pray the next time a trial or choice enters in – you’ll be able to choose wisely – you’ll be able to live above the noise in your head, in your home, and in the world.

You’ll also choose what you know is the right attitude or action. 

And when you feel you’ve made a bad choice – you can trust God for His mercy and grace to see you through – even if you don’t feel ready to make that choice to give up or to change course. 

Remember His care for you! 

After 40 years of watching what he’s done in my life, I can tell you that He’s there and He’s waiting — and He’s patient and He will grow you, especially as you take the time to consider your choices. 

Give Your Kids Opportunities To Feel Valuable

Now – I need to tell you something that happened that morning at my daughter’s house!

The twins were napping so I decided to work a bit on my computer. I asked my 3-year-old granddaughter to clean up a few messes in the family room before she started her playtime.  

And you know what? 

I watched, amazed as she spent the next 15 minutes cleaning the entire family room while her 20-month-old twin sisters took a nap.  She put things in the right drawers and lined up the scooters against the wall.  Amazing!  

You really can train your kids and give them opportunities to feel valuable as a member of your family!  

But that, too, is for another post! 😉

What Choices Will You Make For A Better Tomorrow?

I stand in awe of at what God has done in my life – and how He’s used my choices (both good and not-so-good) to get me where I am!

So now for you!

• How do you see yourself in the future?  
• What do you want your attitude to be then?  
• What stories will you tell the younger women in your life as you fulfill your Titus 2 calling?

 The more you know about God, the more you realize how important choices are to Him.   And why. 

You can make better choices with Him.

And – you’ll better handle the change of plans when they come.

Sweet wife – dear momma – young woman – God has given you this day! 

What choices will you make to spend it preparing for a better tomorrow – a better future?

Check out my post on Family mission statements.  

 I’ll share our story of how we wrote our family mission statement 35 years ago – and how it helped us take aim at our family and home life – and how it shaped our future!

Like, follow, and message me here or on social media!  I love hearing from you! 

It truly makes my day to know I’m serving you well!