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The Most Important Lesson in Home Education

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Home Education

When considering the most important lessen I’ve learned in home educating for the last 22 years, I must revisit the reality that it’s not about academics.  “Yikes,” some of you are saying!  Don’t fret.  Those are important, but the most important lesson we teach our children is how to think.  It’s that simple!  But it takes work.

Really think about the myriad of meanings for this word.

Think – to form a mental picture; the processes of logical thought; to exercise the powers of reason or judgement; to weigh or consider an idea; to use one’s mind actively to form connected ideas; to call to mind in thought; to have the mind engaged in reflection; to have a view or opinion; to have concern, to contemplate, ponder, meditate; to determine; to devise…

Oh, yes.  There are thousands of things our children must learn and hundreds of subjects to share with them, but the main consideration is that they know how to use the amazing brain the good Lord gave them!

There is the inescapable reality that a person can hold several degrees and yet be incapable of making wise choices in life.  He might earn a good income, but there really is more to life than money!  One can know all there is to know about physics and yet be unable to manage his own household.  A person can study math until the cows come home, and yet not be able to control his own spending habits or consider the possibilities for resolving the relational trials that come from financial hardship.

So it’s not only about the diploma or the degree, but understanding how to use that knowledge on a daily basis.

You see, the education the world believes is all important is not the end-all.  It’s really about being able to solve problems.  To resolve conflicts.  To stay the course when life takes you on a detour.  It’s about understanding the complexity, along with the simplicity, of the Word of God and how it relates to life.

Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your mind to my knowledge;  For it will be pleasant if you keep them within you, that they may be ready on your lips.  so that your trust may be in the Lord, I have taught you today, even you.                    Proverbs 22:17-19

Teach a Man to Fish

Teaching Children How to Process

The most important thing I can teach my children is how to process things for themselves.  And this begins by processing the details, frustrations, and intricacies of the physical world and of the relationships right in front of them.

For our children’s formative years, we are their examples:

  • They listen as we use communication skills in real life, not just on paper.
  • They observe as we maneuver the finances of our modern world – making frugal use of ‘deals’, buying and selling goods, and even in the simple way we communicate with store clerks about pricing, sales, and damaged goods.
  • They gain many skills as we share emails and texts, observing how the written word can be confusing and misinterpreted.  We all know how that goes!
  • Our children can learn real-life physiology from watching a cat give birth, or caring for an orphaned bird, or from cleaning a fish for dinner.
  • The old adage says to “teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”  Add to that, hunting or gardening.  These life skills offer far more rewards than having their food miraculously appear on the dinner table.
  • Our children can understand the ways of business, not just by getting an MBA, but by working for neighbors, being creative, and selling their wares to the community.  Discover the benefits of entrepreneurship together!
  • They can develop a heart for counseling by sharing in the life of those in their family, community, or church.  They learn this by watching us do the same.

Please remember that these abilities are taught in person, by having our children alongside us.  We must be deliberate if we are to pass on the many skills of life to our children.  If they only pass their time of day with peers, they will be limited to learning to that level.  But as they observe, and discuss, and practice alongside their parents, they will be ready for the challenging issues of life in the adult world.

Having the ability to process information, communicate details, and solve problems – to think – is the most important lesson in a home educated child’s life.   Carry on!

(Read more on how our family has done this in my posts: Building Up Without Burning Out – Growing Children Into Adults series and Breaking The Mold For Raising Responsible Adults)

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Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your mind to my knowledge;  For it will be pleasant if you keep them within you, that they may be ready on your lips.  so that your trust may be in the Lord, I have taught you today, even you.                    Proverbs 22:17-19
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Building Up Without Burning Out – Growing Children Into Adults – Part Three

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Hopefully you’ve read my posts Part One and Part Two of this series.

We’ve covered:

  • simplifying home education to avoid burn out
  • the freedom to learn from various adventures and interests
  • and the innumerable knowledge, lessons, and skills  learned from those activities!

But what about……

 

Educational Requirements?

Now I know what you might be asking!   How do you stay on track with the necessary educational requirements?  How do you fit them in?   Our family sees the “Big 3” – reading, writing, arithmetic as fundamental for all ages.  Along with Bible, of course.  We add in and basic history and science to wet their interest and give them a foundation.  Then come the basic high school requirements – science, history, higher math, along with adding knowledge to their ‘bents’ and interests..

We use an assortment of curriculum I’ve found to be my favorites.  I’ve created a family resource that is a K-12 list of all the yearly textbooks/workbooks/reading materials which are the foundations of our children’s schooling.  But they don’t rule us.  I rule them!  Profound, huh?!

For example, if we’re working on a remodel project or taking a trip for a CW reenactment, that adventure becomes the mainstay of education for those weeks or months.  We try to have the kids do math, spelling, and Bible most days when we’re busy on a project or adventure.  This doesn’t always work, but having it as a goal helps to keep them from falling behind in the basics.  During spare time they read textbooks or literature early in the morning, or during car travel.  Believe it or not, they choose to get up early to do their “school” so they can have the rest of the day for real life!

 

 

Life Is Our Classroom 

I believe we’ve lost the understanding that life is our classroom.  Yes, we need the basics, but understanding those basics is wrought in the real life activities we use them for!  I’ve seen my adult children prove their capability even though they haven’t done “school” like others we know.  They are proving through their life that they “got” the lessons – both the textbook lessons and the real-life lessons!

So going back to the question about managing school and real-life.   You just don’t let textbooks, and what educational “professionals” suggest, dictate your day!  You decide what you and your children want to really learn about.  Just be sure it isn’t the latest movie or video game!

 

Meeting Needs Without Burning Out

Now for the last question –

“In short, what is the best way to meet everyone’s individual needs, without mom and dad burning out?”

I guess the answer to that lies in how you, as a parent, view your life.  We moms spend the majority of our time meeting the needs of our family.  But, we each have our own view of our life and our role as ‘mom’.  Some women know what they want and make their family adjust to their plan.  Others are more free in what their day looks like and flex more.  Your personal views will affect how each of you gets burnt out.

The first mom gets “burned out” when she doesn’t meet her schedule, or have her clean home, or get to her church Bible study.  And the second mom gets “burned out” when she says yes a hundred times in one day, or she can’t find the baby in the pile of laundry in the living room.  Each mom has different needs and so the “burn out” stems from differing catalyst.

The real answer to that question will be found in searching your heart and your personality. 

  • What makes you tick? 
  • What “gets your goat”? 
  • What do you need to thrive? 
  • What should you avoid to keep from going buggy? 

And don’t feel like you’re being selfish!  God made each of us to function best in certain ways, you know, right brain/left brain, organizer/flexible.

In answering these questions and really taking time to “consider your ways” you can find a rhythm that works for you!  Just remember – what works for one family, won’t necessarily work for another.  My willingness to sew quilts, breed goats, dress in 1860’s attire, or remodel our home may not work for you.  And that’s okay!  The reality is that I didn’t always want to do those things either!  But there are ways to make even the things you dislike doing work for your children and their interests.

 

Compromise Benefits Everyone!

Here’s a few examples of ways we worked out a compromise.

  • I’ve sat through many a music lesson, while my heart’s desire was to be home.  Our daughter who plays the harp had a two hour drive to lessons.  We decided upon a lesson every two weeks to avoid me being gone from our other children so often.
  • I’ve driven my boys (when they were 12-16) to mow properties in our area, but as soon as our son turned 16 he got his license so I wouldn’t have to drive them.  Our other children waited to get their licenses because of cost, lack of need, and a desire to have them grow in maturity before getting behind the wheel.
  • All those Civil War reenactments were often taxing on my energy, especially when I had to nurse in a corset!  Yep!  But when we’d be driving back home, I knew it was all worth it.  The family time, the lessons learned, the light shed.  And my helpful husband sometimes took the children while I stayed home for a quiet weekend.

 

So I guess it’s just a matter of finding the balance.  And isn’t that the thing about life?  Every day is a lesson.  Every year we know more.  One year we swing one direction in our opinions or ideas, and the next God brings us to the opposite side of the pendulum to reveal something new!

So this year, discover something new with your children!  –  You’ll learn about yourself.  –  You’ll learn about each child.  –  And you’ll discover more of God.

Enjoy the journey!

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Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.   Philipians 4:6

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Building Up Without Burning Out – Growing Children Into Adults – Part Two

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Okay, so we’re going for no “burn out” when it comes to home educating our children.  I’ll answer a reader’s questions and share some practical application for our family’s ‘method’.

 

“…if you might share some thoughts on how to try new things without burning up the roads and constantly being ‘on the go’”.

 

Home Education not Road Education!

First off, let me tell you who I am.  I love being home!  So this one’s easy!  And it translates into avoiding outings as much as possible.  During our first years of homeschooling, we attended our homeschool group’s activities, until I was burning out trying to do what I wanted to do in our day, along with what seemed to be the ‘right’ thing to offer my children in extracurricular classes.  Totally not my thing!

So we stayed home, and I finally stopped feeling guilty.  Especially as we saw the new things we could take on that we were interested in….

 

Exploring Life’s Possibilities Through Home Education

“How do you encourage exploration within a large family and still manage to do homeschooling?”

Our philosophy – encouraging exploration is homeschooling!  Discovery, investigation, and all it entails is the fundamental aspect of home education, along with the freedom to work with our family style and our children’s interests! 

Here are some of the activities we were able to do once we let go of all the extras:

  • Planted vegetable gardens and learn about soil, fertilizer, plant growth, and “putting by” our produce.
  • Sewed warm lap quilts during the rainy/cold season.  The children calculated their own fabric needs and designed and sewed their quilts – boys included!  The guys still don’t hesitate to fix their own clothes or sew parachutes, gun bags, and other fun things.
  • Participated in Civil War reenacting, which stemmed from our oldest daughter’s love – history.  We researched, designed, and sewed our clothes and our tent.  We read and read and read to learn behind-the-scenes truth about the political issues of the time.  We visited historic sites. We learned to make pies in a Dutch oven over the open fire.  We learned communication skills and how to instruct the “public” in historic skills.
  • We remodeled our homes.  Construction, fencing, painting, organization, decorating…
  • We ran a certified organic orchard, which meant learning new rules of gardening along with pruning correctly and how to sell at the local farmer’s market.  Again, communication and sales were learned by all.
  • We’ve had chickens, goats, horses, cats, and dogs over the years.  Much is learned from the care and breeding of animals.  Our sons have had “egg” businesses for years, selling to local customers.  And our daughters had raised registered dairy goats to earn money.
  • All our children create and sell hand made items at local craft fairs.  Again, sales, accounting, marketing, research, creativity, skills training….

And beyond all these areas, which teach so many skills it’s hard to count, there are all the children’s individual interests and work experience.  These included: violin, piano, harp, mowing properties, nanny-ing, house cleaning, teaching music lessons, small scale remodeling, alteration and sewing, filing and medical assisting for a local doctor.  And that’s just what I can remember!

So you can see, staying home to ‘home’ educate certainly has advantages.  It offers us the time to learn and explore our children’s bents and talents, all the while adding to their wonderful and fulfilling education!

In my next post I’ll talk about educational requirements and answer the next question.

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Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.       Proverbs 22:6

 

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Building Up Without Burning Out – Growing Children Into Adults – Part One

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This week I’ll be answering a question posed by a reader of my post, Breaking the Mold in Raising Adult Children.

“I was wondering, too if you might share some thoughts on how to try new things without burning up the roads and constantly being ” on the go”.  How do you encourage exploration within a large family and still manage to do homeschooling?  In short, what is the best way to meet everyone’s individual needs, without mom and dad burning out?”

Hmmm.  Those are big questions with so many possibile answers it can be mind numbing!  And if you feel apprehensive (like I do) about giving your children what they need to become productive citizens, your mind has been numbed before!  So, let’s break the mold ourselves and just – not – go – there!

Don’t think you have to know it all and do it all.  Don’t think you have to read every book and try everything I suggest or every other writer out there in this crazy cyber world!

There!  Do you feel better?

 

Being Molded By A Sovereign God

Good!  Now I feel safe to write my ideas without thinking you might think you have to do them.  Just read on and see what might work in your home with your family.  They obviously worked in ours, but we are unique just like you are unique.

I’ve recently come to a new realization.  What if I used a different set of tools or style of raising my children?  Would they still turn out “okay”?  I really think so!  Of course, this answer depends on whether we’re talking about being lazy or not living by godly principles.  Then we’d definitely have a different outcome.  But just imagine that only the tools or the style is different.

I really believe that our sovereign God would create other opportunities and adventures to test us and mold us and our children – into the very person He created us each to be!  Isn’t that a mind-boggling thought?  We don’t have to know the outcome, we just have to be obedient to follow God’s ways and teach our children of Him and his Word!  We leave the result to Him.  What a relief!

Okay, so that was a slight rabbit trail, but it comes back to the topic of raising our children to be successful and responsible adults without burning out.  So hopefully your fear is quelled!  God will work it out for His glory.   Success!

Now onto our family’s ‘method’ for practical application….

Please check back in a few days or better yet, make it easy on yourself and get my posts in your inbox by subscribing in the “Follow My Posts” box on the right!

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And when they heard this, they lifted their voices to God with one accord and said, “O Lord, it is You who MADE THE HEAVEN AND THE EARTH AND THE SEA, AND ALL THAT IS IN THEM…       Acts 4:24

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