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The Fear of Planning Is Real!

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Discover the Freedom to Make Plans for What Matters Most

If you prefer to read, here’s the podcast in blog post form! ⤵️

Fear Of Planning — It’s A Real Thing!

Highlights:

This episode will encourage you to

  • Pay attention to what’s holding you back from planning.
  • What will help you develop a method for planning that works for you?
  • Consider God’s call for you to manage your life.
  • How well do you handle when things don’t go your way?

Fear Can Hold You Back

Fear could be holding you back from accomplishing your goals and dreams for your family, your home, and your life.  

This episode will help you gain control of what feels out of control.  

Caring for a family of 12, taught me to build schedules into my life.  To find the most streamlined way to accomplish tasks — even though I had a fear of planning. 

I had always used a calendar or planner – but I didn’t use it to plan.  But 9 years ago, life was shifting and I realized I needed to actually plan my life! 

And I created my own planner challenge.  It literally changed my life.  It helped me gain control of what felt out of control.

Wake up to the possibility of taking charge of your day and activities — of watching your responsibilities get accomplished.  

God made us unique and with differing needs.   

Some of you love schedules — to-do lists, and all the bells and whistles of getting it all done!

And some of you have a fear of planning.  That feeling when you’re about to fill out your planner for the week and you’re gripped with panic — the fear that comes from not knowing what to put on your to-do list? You feel the tension of putting something on the wrong day, risking it won’t get done.  And the sense of failure when things don’t get done — again 

You can feed your insecurities and fears — or you can seek help and find tools to help you overcome them. 

I want you to find freedom to make plans and see the growth and productivity that comes from it.

And the only way through the struggle – is through the struggle!

The secret to being content is knowing we’re not in control.  Each day you have more control than you want — just not total control!  

  • You have to begin to find your sweet spot. 
  • Then you’ll see some level of success. 
  • You’ll learn to get comfortable with not getting it all done.  

Life Happens –

But because we live in a more complicated world than we used to, there’s so many distractions and so many opportunities it’s really important to know:

  • What to do every day — you need a plan — and that starts with having goals.  
  • How to turn goals into reality, you have to list out the necessary tasks.  
  • To get those tasks done, they need to go on a calendar, preferably on a specific week or day!
     

Be flexible.     Don’t stress.        Plan anyway.

Envisioning a better day — a great life — a healthy relationship will move you forward.  

➡️  Don’t let the Fear of Planning stop you. 
It will take work. 
It will require that you trust and move forward anyway. 
But it’s well worth it! 

I believe your year will produce joy and success — in your way and your timing!

Time to Think:

But Don’t Be Discouraged!

Each day you have more control than you want — just not total control!
You have to begin to find your sweet spot.  Then you’ll see some level of success.  You’ll learn to get comfortable with not getting it all done. 

  • You have control over what you add to your to-do list and onto your schedules. 
  • You have control over how you handle the multitude of responsibilities in your sphere of influence. 
  • You have control over how you handle what doesn’t go your way. 

Press on!  Look at your successes, even the little ones.  

  • Be encouraged by the possibility of finishing a task or goal.
  • Get excited to begin the year running. (Or end the year running – or skip through the summer!). Just get moving!
  • Don’t be afraid to have lots of goals.  
  • Don’t expect your plan to go exactly the way you pictured!
  • Take a deep breath in. Now exhale all the stress and fear out. Give it to God. Then move on in faith and peace. You can do this! One step at a time.

Take time to develop a “routine” – time slots that keep you on track, like: 

  • do these things before breakfast 
  • do these things before lunch 
  • do these things before dinner – or bedtime.

I’m encouraging you to:

  • Consider what floats your boat.
  • Think about how you’re wired so you can find a path through all your busyness and to-do lists.  
  • To help you discover what style works best for you. 

When things don’t go your way, your response offers you a hint of what’s important to you. 
It’s important to see what’s really behind your actions.  Take time to answer these questions.

“When I’m frustrated with my messed up plan…

  • does it reveal that I wanted a perfect schedule over a practical one?” 
  • could it be that I want things to go my way and not someone else’s?” 
  • is it because I want to be more like _________ than who I am right now?” (Fill in the name of someone you value or even secretly idolize.) 
  • maybe I think life should look one way when God wants me to evaluate what’s most important in my life.” (And it might not be that perfect Pinterest bedroom.)

In closing, my encouragement for you is this:

➡️ Don’t let the Fear of Planning stop you.

➡️ Failure to meet all of your “shoulds” and your goals is okay. 

➡️ Use what didn’t work to fuel you – not stall you!  Test things and be okay to try something else.

➡️ Look for the Wins.  Review your year and find the wins!  They’re there!  You have to put on your binoculars – but you have to look for them.

Words to Remember:

Terry Covey @ Living Above the Noise:

  • “You see this is something hugely important – can feed your insecurities and fears — or you can seek help and find tools to help you overcome them.”
  • “The only way through the struggle – is through the struggle!”
  • “The older I get, the more I know the secret to being content.  And the key is knowing I’m not in control.”
  • “One thing you must remember – and it’s a fact of life — you will see things get bumped on your schedule.  And often. And what matters most is how you deal with those bumps!” 
  • Be flexible.     Don’t stress.        Plan anyway.
  • Envisioning a better day — a great life — a healthy relationship will move you forward.  You’re like those explorers. But you’re exploring your own life and where you’re headed. 

Bible Verses:

“You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”  Deuteronomy 6:7

“Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. 
Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you. 
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight. Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. 
She will place on your head a graceful garland; she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.” 
Proverbs 4:5-15

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” 1 Peter 4:10-11

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

“For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function.” Romans 12:4

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7

“For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.” Romans 12:4-6

“Do all things decently and in order.” 1 Corinthians 14:40

“The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”  Proverbs 16:9

“It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”   Phillipians 2:13

“For nothing will be impossible with God.”  Luke 1:37

“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”  1 Peter 5:7

Resources:

  • “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” — From Mint Lounge – The origin of the name is dubious, but according to the classic A Hog on Ice: & Other Curious Expressions (1948) by Charles Earle Funk, the phrase “skin the cat” was first seen in around 1845: “In America, as any country boy knows, this means to hang by the hands from a branch or bar, draw the legs up through the arms and over the branch, and pull oneself up into a sitting position. As we must abide by the record, we cannot say positively that the name for this violent small-boy exercise is more than a century old, but it is highly likely that Ben Franklin or earlier American lads had the same name for it.”

    Writers have pointed to its use in the southern states of the US in reference to the catfish, often abbreviated to cat, a fish that is indeed usually skinned in preparing it for eating.

    Mark Twain used your version in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court in 1889.

    Confirmation from The Leisure Hour, 1879, that cats were used for womens’ furs, but with a denial they were ever skinned alive: “To skin a cat when it was alive would be utterly impossible.  And secondly, it does not make any difference in the quality of the skin.
  • Teleophobia, also spelled “Telophobia,” is the unreasonable and irrational fear of making definite plans and may also extend to the fear of religious rituals, such as weddings, funerals, and Sunday services. It is seemingly related to a fear of losing control and is similar to the fear of confinement or of making commitments. The person feels restricted or tied down by other people’s agendas. 

  • “Decidophobia” is also a real term. It’s used to define the “irrational fear of making decisions.”
  • For more inspiration, you can find more of my posts on planners and planning here:

Choosing A Planner….So Many Options!
3 Steps To Stop The Chaos…Why You Need A Plan!
School’s Starting! – You Need To Plan For the Perfect Day

    My “Think – Pray – Plan – Do Planner” (T.P.P.D) is —> Now on Amazon!

  • Download the free Think – Pray – Plan – Do pdf here. It will help you make wise use of your time – for what matters most!

    • Think about all you heard today.  The thoughts and questions and dreams and ideals you have.
    • Pray about those to determine what’s most important and valuable.
    • Make a Plan to implement those beliefs and values.  Write them on a white board or get them printed on a wall hanging.  The most important thing is to put them in front of you so you won’t forget them.  So you can implement them daily and discuss them over dinner or when you need to discipline a child.  Or make decisions with your husband.
    • Do!  Live them out.  Make them your reality. And then watch as your family life transforms as you and your family gain the morale and confidence and trust in God’s plan for your family!

      ➡️ If this episode encouraged you, be sure to follow wherever you listen in.  That way you won’t miss an episode.  

      ➡️ Please share it with someone you know who needs a lift.  

      ➡️ If you have questions, connect with me is on Instagram or Facebook.

      ➡️ Subscribe to my every-so-often newsletter below. ⤵️

Like, follow, and message me here or on social media!  I love hearing from you! 

It truly makes my day to know I’m serving you well!

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How To Become A Better Parent Using Lessons from the Garden

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Lessons from the garden can make you a better parent

Do Kids and Gardens Have Something In Common?

It’s true! Raising kids is a lot like raising a garden.
You care for them. You tend and watch. You train. And you wait.

But how will they turn out? What kind of fruit will they bear?

Let’s see what we can learn from the garden to become a better parent!

My Botched Garden

At the first sign of spring, I plant my vegetable seeds. I tend the seedlings, waiting for them to sprout. But one year, after a month of watching them grow almost big enough to plant outdoors, they grew tall and lanky — some shriveled and died. After all that work!

This got me thinking about the time and effort to raise any living thing.

It’s easy to think growing things will be easy. And parenting isn’t any different — except that we’re growing humans!

Learning & Growing

We all make mistakes when we’re learning new things. I’ve messed up enough to fill a book! Do you remember how it feels to hold that baby for the first time? Everything is just. So. New.

Fortunately, we get to observe and then learn from the world around us. I’ve raised both children and vegetables for decades and believe it or not, they actually have a lot in common. Let’s see what we can learn from the garden to help you become a better parent!

If you’re reading this, you probably have kids. And even if you don’t garden — stick with me. You’ll see how the gardener and her crops resemble the choices you make in your job as “mom.” You can become a better parent using lessons from the garden. (When you finish this post, click here to join our community and get my God Values Your Family worksheets.)

Gardening Lessons for Better Parenting

Gardening Lesson #1: Know Your Plant’s Needs Before You Choose A Method

From my botched seedlings, I found out I was doing something wrong. I followed standard garden protocol: plant the seeds, use a grow light, keep them well watered, and use a warming mat for their soil. So what happened?

I used the same method for several kinds of seeds.

When we don’t use the right lighting, nutrients, and moisture for each type of seedling, some can become weak and pale. Their stems wither into thread-like strands, strangling those important first leaves. Some don’t even sprout.

But there’s good news.

Our mistakes help us learn what not to do the next time.

Parenting Lesson — Your Method Affects Your Child

Parenting comes with lots of confusion about how to raise kids. When we start this journey, we don’t understand that different children need different care.

Too often, we follow the latest trend in parenting or we follow our parents’ example — but we miss this important fact — children are created differently.

Another family’s method may not work for your child or your lifestyle.

Like plants with different requirements for light, nutrients, and moisture, children benefit from individual attention. Each child needs unique and thoughtful care.

• One child may need “flower care” using a different type of fertilizer — more hugs maybe?
• Another might need “veggie care” with lots of sunlight and warmth — more time to run and learn outdoors.
• And yet another, “succulent care” planted in a unique soil — more time to learn from books and research.

The point is — your kids will greatly benefit when you take the time to discover which type of child you have.

This is the important work of parenting. It’s hard work. But hang in there!
Learn as you go. It’s a process.

With your best effort to give your kids individual “care and feeding,” they’ll grow strong and bear much “fruit!”

It’s hugely important to remember that God loves you. He created you to raise your kids. Plus, He loves your kids even more than you do!

God gives enough grace and love to cover your mistakes. I know you want to do the best you can while you have the opportunity! With His counsel and grace, you have hope on this parenting journey.

Gardening Lesson #2: Expect Abundant Produce Without Enough Knowledge or Hard Work

If you’ve ventured into gardening, you know this scenario. It happens to the best of us.

Juicy, home-grown tomatoes come to mind. You don’t have extra time for a garden — but the local nursery catches your eye. The hope of a lush garden draws you in! You remember a spare space along the driveway. So you dig a hole in the stubborn, rocky soil and place your plants into their holes. You might even say a prayer. (You’re gonna need it! 😊 )

One super important lesson from gardening — especially when growing veggies — they need lots of sunlight, nutritious soil, proper drainage, and special nutrients. Without the right ratio, they won’t grow many flowers or fruit. They can develop spindly, pale leaves. Or they grow huge, green leaves — but no tomatoes. You’re left wondering why people love to garden! Been there, done that, and often still do!

Parenting Lesson #2 — Environment Affects Our Kids

Like plants struggling to grow in hard-packed soil with no nutrition, our kids battle the culture that surrounds them.

I remember too well my struggle to fit in, to say “no,” and my internal battle with my own identity. It’s hard for kids to be free to make wise choices when their environment is harsh and unforgiving. When it doesn’t equip them for life and learning.

Kids can be like those tomatoes struggling to grow along the driveway. With so much energy spent fighting to gain a foothold, they have less energy to produce fruit. In this environment, children become stifled from discovering their unique talents and aptitude.

Remember — kids, like plants, soak up everything they’re around — both the toxins and the beneficial nutrients. If the “soil” is damaging or the “nutrients” lacking, your child will be affected.

Hang in there — there’s hope!

A Healthy Environment

It’s not a surprise that kids benefit from an environment where they can flourish rather than battle. Your efforts will go a long way in giving them a strong foundation, spiritual nourishment, and lots of physical and emotional preparation. This helps them develop their unique personality while standing strong and becoming capable as enter adulthood. It gives them a “leg up” so to speak!

As parents, our job isn’t to make life perfect for our kids, but we can work to provide a healthy environment for them to develop.

Gardening Lesson #3: Parent Like A Professional Gardener — Give the Best Foundation, Support, and Nourishment

I saved the best for last!

When I was newly married, I wanted the same delicious tomatoes my mom grew. I researched and asked questions. I bought a huge plastic kettle and filled it with rich black soil and two tomato plants. Before long, those plants were three feet tall and producing bowls of juicy tomatoes for our dinner table. That was time and effort well spent!

If you’ve ever tasted them, you know there’s nothing like home-grown tomatoes! (If you and your kids enjoy a good folk song and you like John Denver, click that link!) I digress. 😉

So, we know to grow a successful garden — to get the best plants and produce, the gardener must know and understand the needs of each type of plant. You know when you get it right — your vases will be full, your arms overflowing with produce, or your home green with houseplants!

Oh, how I love my gardens!
And my kids!

Parenting Lesson #3 — Give the Best Foundation, Support, and Nourishment To Your Children

Simply put, just like those plants, our children benefit from the best environment and care for their needs.

So let’s dig into what that looks like in your life as a parent?

Lessons from the Garden for Raising Your Kids

Lessons from the garden for raising your kids.

A farmer tends his crops because he knows his life depends on it.
He knows his choices determine how well his crops do — and how well he’ll eat that year.

It’s just as important to see your parenting job the same way.

Your children’s future begins with YOU — and that includes the choices you make in how to care for them.

God’s design for the family is amazing! It’s an awesome honor and responsibility to instruct and raise our children.

Have you ever thought about this? Your babies don’t ask to be born? Yet they depend on you for everything — to love, nurture, and raise them well. And it’s all part of God’s plan!

Aim to serve God well and be the best parent you can be!

Family is God’s “garden” to grows future adults —
the next generation!

Let’s review these parenting lessons:

  • Soil – Patio tomatoes need a healthy pot of rich soil — a place where roots grow strong and healthy. Children need a rich environment to grow, learn, and broaden their ever-expanding minds.
  • Roots – The healthier the roots, the healthier the plant. Roots provide the plant with much-needed nutrients. The foundation and nutrients you give your kids are equally important. Be sure they get plenty of opportunities to learn and experiment with their unique interests and skills. These grow them into the individual they were created to be!
  • Leaves – Tomato leaves — growing large, soft, and green — soak up the sunlight. This creates chlorophyll to provide the plant with just what it needs to produce delicious, nutrient-rich fruit. Exactly what it was intended to produce!
    I know you might not believe it when you’re chasing toddlers or changing diapers, but your kids will grow up! Like plants, your child soaks up information from their surroundings. A healthy environment matures and grows them strong in character and skills. Their knowledge expands, and they use their talent and personality to add “fruit” to the culture around them making the world a much better place!

    (Use my Parenting Worksheets and encouragement from my newsletters to help get your “soil” right!)

    Each child is a whole person —
    an adult in the making.

    It’s Your Time to Be a Master Parent!

    Good things happen when you have a plan to parent better!

    How Will You Tend Your Garden?

    You and your husband are the best people in the world to decide how life is lived in your home. And you’re the best qualified to raise your children.

    Take time to:

    • think about how your kids are doing.
    • where you’re headed as a family.
    • how you might get there.
    • assess your parenting style.
    • see if you need to adjust anything — soil, nutrients, sunlight?
    • make a plan to grow a great family!

    Your Better Parenting Plan

    Your child’s mind, like the plants we’ve been talking about, soaks up everything they come in contact with. Are these types of “soil” what you’d like your kids to grow in?

    • Surrounded by love and the knowledge of God
    • Filled with imagination and freedom to play and learn
    • Lots of opportunities to experience new things and learn from the skills and knowledge of others
    • Engaging relationships where they learn to accept differences and love unconditionally

    Get my Parenting Worksheets and get started tending the garden of your kid’s lives.)


    Remember — Only God is the Perfect Parent!

    We all know that “perfect” family. We want the same for our family and so we try their methods and ideas. Then we hear of a new “technique” that promises success. I get it, I’ve grabbed at plenty along my parenting journey.

    There’s nothing wrong with learning and growing from another family, but remember the lessons above. Your kids — your family.

    Things you try and fail at can feel like mistakes — but they are truly lessons. They are growing you along the way.

    Remember this — children are resilient and they have a loving heavenly Father, too! The best part? God uses our mess-ups. Remember Moses and David?

    God is good — His perfect plan will show you the way.

    There’s Hope For Better Parenting!

    If you’re worried you’re kids will turn out like my sickly plant examples, have HOPE. Your kids will survive your mistakes!**

    **Other than the worst-case scenarios, of course — and please, if you struggle with a serious issue that could affect the safety of your children, reach out to someone for help.

    Like with anything you do, give it your best for a better outcome!

    Our Family

    You might be wondering what my kids are like now that they’re adults. I’m amazed at what God has done with our big family! Each one is unique from the others. They’re strong and capable, think independently, have curious minds, and are raising great families. Best of all, each one loves and trusts God. I’m really proud of my kids! You can read about them here. But be “duly noted” — they aren’t perfect! 😉

    And the goal isn’t perfection anyway, is it?

    It’s progress — being the best parents we can, using our life, our faith, and our experience to help the next generation continue on that journey.

    The key: Trust your
    loving Father and cultivate your family — like a
    master gardener!

    Steps You Can Take Towards Better Parenting

    • If you have a family — are you happy with the way things are going? Do you need to make adjustments to the soil, sunlight, or water? Do you need to learn more about parenting? Ask, read, pray, and reconsider your current plan. Then make the changes needed. God will bless every effort you make to raise the future generation for Him. Now begin cultivating!
    • If you’re not married yet — picture your future family and what you want for your children. What are your goals, hopes, and ideas for raising them? Write these goals down. Put thought into how you’ll get there. Take time to develop the “garden” you’ll raise your future children in. It will be worth your effort.

    God’s word is filled with exhortations to parent well,
    be responsible for your family,
    and always to love well!

    I encourage you to begin “living above the noise.”
    Don’t be afraid to be different — to discover a style all your own.
    You don’t have to measure up to what everyone else is doing — in your community, especially on social media, or even in your church.

    This is your life — you only get one! Use it well and for God’s glory!


    —> Have these lessons from the garden inspired you? Are you encouraged to become a better parent?
    I’d love to help you get a plan for your parenting! Schedule a discovery call with me — your “Mom Mentor / Coach.”

    —> Get your free “God Values Your Family” worksheets here. You’ll receive my newsletter and get notified when my parenting book comes out. Grab my devotional here —> “7 Days to Discovering God’s Value for You“.)

    Train up a child in the way he should go;
    Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

    And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 6:6-7

    Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
    The fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

    “But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Job 12:7-10

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    School’s Starting! – You’ve Got To Plan If You Want the Best Day Possible

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    It’s that time of year again!  Where did summer go?!  No more vacay — it’s time to get organized!

    Eight years ago, I decided to start really using my planner — not just for recording lists and what I did for the day.  But to actually plan my life, my year, my days!

    I turned my journey into a Year-Long-Planner Challenge and encouraged my readers to share it with me.  The accountability of going public pushed me (and you) to succeed!  If you’re up for a challenge this year — to get your life in order and stop procrastinating on dreams, goals, and responsibilities — please join me again this year!

    Resources To Help You Get Organized

    I’ve tried lots of planners over the years and I finally narrowed them down to what actually works for me.  Read this post to discover the benefits of using a planner — and this post to see several different planner styles and how they might fit your needs and personality.

    The key? — Find the planner style that works for your personality! 

    The sky’s the limit online — hundreds of creative ideas for organizing your dreams and goals. If you follow my social accounts and subscribe to my newsletter, you’ll get tips and tricks for goal setting and planning, plus a lot of encouragement!

    I did a ton of planner research (my weakness 😉) a few years ago, and here are a few more favs:

    Think Pray Plan Do Planner

    I’ll start with my own creation — The Think Pray Plan Do Planner. It comes in 12-month and (2) 6-month planners.

    I designed it after using about a dozen planners and finding what worked best for my life and my personality. That’s why I don’t only suggest my T.P.P.D. planner to you.

    You have a different life than I do, so you want to find what works for you!

    The Big Happy Planner

    A favorite with my daughter and me is the Big Happy Planner*. I especially like the long columns to plan out my day, along with sections for to-do lists, meal planning, etc. 
    It has a monthly page for birthdays, goals, important dates, and a fun area to jot down activities you’re currently spending time on. 
    The feature that makes it stand out from the rest is disc binding, which allows you to move pages around or even add your own! —> (After using these for years, I’ve discovered the discs can get in the way. They catch on backpacks or computer bags and now I find them a little annoying. but I still love that I can add pages!)

    The Living Well Planner

    I used Ruth Soukup’s Living Well Planner for a few years and really liked it. I needed more room each day, so decided to create my own planner. Unfortunately, Ruth’s planners aren’t for sale anymore. But, you might find some on eBay-type sites.

    Using this planner, you’ll learn how to:

    • Brainstorm your responsibilities and to-do’s
    • Choose Big Goals
    • Develop an Action Plan by breaking those big goals into bite-sized steps
    • Plan each week and day to get MORE accomplished with less time WASTED

    These planners help motivating you to take action!

    • Are you ready to take back your days?
    • Get that to-do list checked off?
    • Start your planner challenge?

    Accountability is KEY!      Let’s do this — together!  

    *** If you’re serious about using a planner to get life under control, leave a comment, message me on Instagram, or join my mailing list. I’d love to help keep you motivated!

    Start Here To Reach Your Goals

    Planner Challenge To-Do List:

    Let’s learn and grow together!

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    Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.  Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest.   Proverbs 6:6-8
    *This asteric indicates that I may earn some compensation for these items IF you purchase through my website.  I only share products I love and use personally!  Thanks!
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    Great Pens for Planning!
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    The Myth Of Getting It All Done!

    By

    Planner & Coffee

    As Christian, home-schooling moms, we take on so much, go against the flow, all while living in a crazy, busy culture.  I hope I can help just a little as I give my answer to this reader’s question.  (And check out other bloggers answers at the bottom of this page!)

    How do I teach each child their lessons AND cook 3 nutritious meals a day AND nurse the baby AND keep everyone in clean clothes AND keep the dust bunnies at bay, all on very little sleep?! Did I mention that right now I’m only teaching 3 out of my 6 and we are focusing just on phonics and math?

    So how do we get it all done?  How do we answer these questions?  What’s a mother to do?  Oh, I’d love to offer you my perfect plan for the perfect day with a perfect outcome…..

    ….but the honest answer, and one that each of us mothers needs to accept, is that we won’t be able to get it all done!

    We’ll each need to discover what “all done” means to us personally and corporately as a family.  That term will mean something different for each of us.  No two families will focus on exactly the same things to find their place of balance.

    • One mom’s focus may be on having a perfectly planned day and a super-clean, orderly home.
    • For another, a family business may keep their schedule hopping.
    • Yet another might study herbs, organic cooking, and natural medicine.
    • Some may have picnics and parties and homeschool gatherings weekly for friends and family.

    And each one of these moms will have to serve meals, teach children, and wash clothes.  Our goal is to find how we best function, based on how God designed us with our personalities and abilities, in just the place He has us.  But, if we’re choosing another family’s lifestyle, trying to be the Joneses, we’ll only end up burnt out and disappointed.

     

    Discovering The Key

    So the real key to finding this answer is to discover what’s important to you and your husband.

    • What do you value?
    • What is it you find extremely important in order to feel like you’ve accomplished your goals?
    • What kind of relationship do you require to feel like you’re a part of your children’s lives?
    • What level of education do you deem necessary for your children?
    • How important is a clean and orderly environment for your peace and comfort?

    Another factor is realizing each of your children’s bents.  If one of them wants to be a doctor, your schedule for them will include calculus or trigonometry.   For another, it might be farming, and so you may decide on a more  hands-on approach to learning, right in your backyard.  This will help determine what that elusive “all done” term means.

    Getting It All Done

     

    Discover What “All Done” Means To You & How To Get There!

    1)  Develop a routine.  Think about how your family spends their days and weeks.  Look for patterns.  You’ll find them.  Usually these routines come from what we find important and are comfortable with (unless we’ve gotten sidetracked by trying to live like someone else!).  We really need to establish what works for us, while learning from those around us.  Use this pattern to discover what, when, and how to order your day.

     

    2)  Pray for wisdom – then step back and observe your home, family, and routine.  What do you like?  What frustrates you?  Right now I’m realizing that my meal planning and the disorder in my freezer/refrigerator is driving me crazy!  I’m not okay with it.  So that’s one thing I’ll be working on this month.  Sometimes we need things to get out of control before we gain the perspective to fix them.  So failure is actually a good thing as it reveals our weakness or blind spots!

     

    3)  Don’t sweat the small stuff.  When things get busy with family, much of what we do or think we need is actually small stuff.  When accidents happen, or trials come, we soon discover what is really important.  I had a friend once offer a bit of advice.  I was tired, pregnant, and sick.  Oh, and did I mention I was also complaining?!  During my bed-rest, I was disturbed by what I heard and saw going on in my family.  It revealed some major issues in our home and relationships.  And I didn’t like it!

    So my friend offered me new perspective.  She told me I could view this down-time negatively or as a gift from God.  As time to watch and listen to the temperature of our family.  You see, when we’re doing well, we often get so busy we don’t notice the idiosyncrasies and problem areas developing.  But when we step back, or are forced to, we are able to see life for what it is and make better choices to solve them.

     

    4)  Don’t think you have to do everything everyone else is doing!  Read that again – with emphasis!  What is important for one family or what comes easily for them, may not be what’s best or good for yours.  Our society and government may want us all to look the same and vote the same and behave the same, but that’s not Gods plan!  Be unique!

    It’s really important to remember that no one way is right.  It’s great to read books and blogs, and talk to friends and other homeschooling moms for ideas.  But – remember to make your schedule based on your personality and goals.  It’s between God and you and your husband to discern what works for your family.

     

    5)  Raise your children to work hard.  This is huge battle in our culture.  Things come way too easy for us all, and we tend to baby and pamper our kids.  They’re cute, I know!  But they’re only a child once!  Hah!  I’m just kidding!  But those sweeties have to grow up and become honest, diligent, and productive adults.  Teach them well.

    Find projects to work on together.  Teach them to help around the house.  Go against popular thought.  Having them help the family with chores is not comparable to the plague!  Your neighbors or church friends might tell you you’re too hard on them or that it’s your job.  That you’re the one who chose to have so many kids!  But please, oh please, don’t listen!

    This is the first time in history when children don’t have to work hard to help their family.  The lessons they learn by working hard will keep them afloat when life’s trials come.  Believe it or not, it’s not wrong to let them know that life does get hard!  Teach them to persevere and rely upon their heavenly Father, and they will prosper!

     

    6)  Stay tuned into God, read His word, listen to the Spirit, and be conformed to what He deems important.  Ask for His grace.  He will provide wisdom and discernment for the tasks and priorities for your home.  He’ll also cover areas you’ll be surprised at.  At first, you may not see how He protects and guides, but He will.  Keep Him in His proper place, above all!

    There will always be lessons.  Just be open to them.  God knows just what you need.

     

    Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.  Hebrews 4:16

     

    A Few Practical Tips That Worked For Us

    • Have a special place (we used a personal quilt) to keep your little ones happy.  Give them toys and books to play with while you do school or work on a project.  This quiet time only lasts so long, but it really helps!  Our toddlers loved their little spot to call their own.
    • Assign chores so everyone has duties during certain hours of the day.  Develop a chore system.  You’ll know what everyone is doing and can manage the work and the workers.  I manage a lot.  They work.  Things get done.  What doesn’t get done, we leave for tomorrow or find it’s not really that important.  And if something isn’t getting done, it may not be a necessity anyway!  Really!  We end up doing what is a priority.  Remember to pray to keep your goals in sight.
    • Develop a meal plan and preparation chart.   I had a great chart that recorded what was on the menu, who was the cook, and who was the “bottle washer”.  Ever heard that ditty?  “Chief cook and bottle washer.”  My mom said it all the time!  I digress….but having a plan really takes the pressure off when dinnertime comes.  Plus it relieves the stress of hearing, “I did the dishes last night!”.
    • Cut down to two meals a day with a snack in between.  It lightened our load from having three meals to plan, prepare, and clean up after.  Plus it gave us more time out of the kitchen and doing what we enjoyed.  You’d be amazed what you can get used to!

    So, can you get it all done?  Nah!  You’d have to be Supermom to do it.

    Can you find a happy place of peace in the middle of this chaos we call ‘family’?  Certainly!  But that’s super easy to forget in this crazy busy culture we live in!

    No matter what, pull yourself back to the paramount goal.  Raising children for the glory of God! 

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    And, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4

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